Cards Against Humanity
by fandomtrashpanda
Summary: "Prompt: A and B are playing CAH and A is becoming increasingly flustered and B has to comfort them" or: Marinette witnesses Cards Against Humanity for the first time (post-reveal/aged-up/est. relationship) M for language and adult content. Adrienette


"A and B are playing CAH and A is becoming increasingly flustered and B has to comfort them AU" or: Marinette witnesses Cards Against Humanity for the first time (post-reveal/aged-up/est. relationship)

* * *

Marinette had no idea that Adrien could be so… so…

 _Vulgar._

She shouldn't have been too surprised, really - they were all (legal) adults, if only barely; he had long since been exposed to inappropriate content by the boys in their class; and the flush in his cheeks from the few cups of beer he had already drank brought out a bit more of the Chat Noir-boldness in him. If she didn't know that he was one half of Chat Noir, then she would have been completely blindsided - but knowing the truth made it a little bit more understandable. But only barely.

She was glad she wasn't playing, but watching the group of five - Alya, Nino, Adrien, Alix, and Kim - was enough for her to be glad that she wasn't. Just watching made her want to faint.

"What's the gift that keeps on giving?" Alya read the black card after making sure the face-down white cards were shuffled and laid out in front of her. "Okay, so, we've got…" she drifted off, moving to flip each card over.

 _Fwip._ "Some - pft - some goddamn peace and quiet." _Fwip._ "Spectacular abs." _Fwip._ "M-my genitals." _Fwip._ "White privilege." _Fwip_. "And Re-gifting - okay this one wins!"

"What?" Adrien exclaimed as Alix cheered and took the black card, "'My genitals' is a perfect card for gifting! You thought that one was the funniest, anyways, I heard you laughing!" Marinette made a restrained choking noise as Nino and Kim burst into fits of laughter.

"You're playing to Nino, man - whoever goes for the most inappropriate," Kim explained while clapping his back, "this is Alya - you gotta play to the card."

"Marinette, are you okay?" Adrien asked, his cheeks pink as he beamed at her, "You should be sitting with me!"

"I-I'm fine! It's just hot in here!" She exclaimed, gesturing towards the rest of the class party that was in full-swing. "A-and I-I don't want to be able to see anyone's cards! It might feel like I'm helping that person cheat!" The pout on Adrien's face made her heart melt - so much like Chat, with every passing day she didn't know how she didn't figure it out sooner.

"Maybe you should step outside and get some fresh air? We'll still be here when you get back -" Nino tried to suggest, but Alya stopped him by pinching his arm.

"It's fine, this is f-fun!" Marinette exclaimed; it wasn't like she was sticking around to see the way Adrien's entire face lit up as the czar read out the white cards, or how he nearly fell over from his gut-busting laughter that sounded like music to her ears. She hadn't heard him laugh this hard outside of the mask.

"Alright, alright, it's my turn!" Alix laughed, reaching for the deck of black cards. "The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and blank."

"Oh, I have a perfect one for you, girl," Nino said, slapping a white card down in front of her while she kept her eyes covered.

"Dump card," Alya declared while sliding a card in front of her.

"Mostly to see Marinette's face," Adrien teased while sliding another card in front of Alix, winking at Marinette.

"Get a room, you two," Kim scoffed, contributing his own card.

"Alright, is that everybody?" Alix asked as Kim mixed the cards around. "Alright - I've got," _fwip_ , "emotions," _fwip_ , "sexting," _fwip_ , "cuddling," _fwip_ , "gladiatorial combat," she hesitated to look confused before flipping the last card and choking on her spit. She fell over laughing, unable to breathe to a point where Kim leaned over to read it for her, but he lost his mind, as well.

"What is it?" Alya asked, leaning over to read it and squealing with laughter. Marinette had to lean over and squint, but she felt like she was going to faint when she read the card.

 **A bigger, blacker dick.**

"Who made this game?" She shrieked, lunging to her feet. "You'rerightNinoI'mgonnagetsomeair-" she turned and vaulted herself in the direction of the door, panting when she was standing right outside of Alix's house. She began to pace on the sidewalk, grumbling about all of the vulgar cards that she had witnessed over the past half hour and thanking all of the higher powers that she hadn't been playing.

"Marinette?" She squeaked and whirled around, staring in horror at Adrien.

"Was that last one yours?" She demanded, feeling absolutely mortified. "I mean, all of the cards you've played tonight - 'my genitals', 'a dance move that's just sex', ' _fifty-thousand volts straight to the nippes_ '?" She was pulling on her hair and biting her nails as she paced. "Who made this game?" She wailed again.

"The last card wasn't mine - it was Kim's," Adrien told her, his eyes glittering with amusement as he took her hands in his and pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her waist when her hands were resting on his chest. "Mine was the 'cuddling' one," he said, rubbing his nose against hers.

"This game is awful," she whimpered, dropping her head against his shoulder. "And I swear, if you kept smirking like that I wouldn't be the only one who figured out who you are."

"Yeah, but you figured it out awhile ago - _my lady_ ," he said, squeezing her lightly, smiling when she giggled.

" _Chaton_ ," she sighed, tilting her head back to accept a kiss, melting against him.

"Next round," he whispered in her ear, "I want you to sit beside me."

"I don't want it to seem like you're cheating," she muttered.

"I just like the noises you make at some of the cards."

" _Adrien_!"

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A/N: In case you didn't know, I am also a slut for this ship.


End file.
